Cameroonian Men change Perceptions on Valentine’s Day.

 By Joyce Ashuntantang*

In a rare show of emotion and public display of affection for their spouses and significant others, a bunch of Cameroonian men a.k.a African men, defied the stereotypes to actually profess their love openly on February 13^th in Dallas, Texas. They did it with red roses, gifts, poems, sultry looks and kisses. Maybe it had to do with the particular women involved, just maybe!

The occasion was a Valentine’s day party dubbed “An affair of the heart” organized by the Ex Saker Students Association (EXSSA USA), Dallas chapter. This is an alumni organization of the prestigious Saker Baptist College, in Limbe, Cameroon; a Christian based boarding secondary school for girls. These girls, now grown women are a combination of fine intelligence and positive energy that revitalizes. On this day, they went all out to set the mood and the results were there for all to see. The hall was transformed into a banquet fit for royalty, and surely the EXSSA ladies were bent on treating their guests as such.

The chairs and tables dressed up in white with red bows and trimmings captured the “valentine essence” of the evening. The gold and white dinnerware only added to the opulence of the soiree, while the music and aroma from matching scented candles on each table caressed the atmosphere.  But as every smart and dynamic African woman knows, it is at the food table that you completely win them. In fact, the stereotype of a “dumb blond” will never fit a Sakerette; this is not because they are all beautifully black but because in Saker, Food and nutrition was in the curriculum alongside Mathematics, Chemistry, Biology and Literature. So we are talking of women with the word “balance” at the centre of their being.  

  So, like the elegantly decorated hall, the food itself was a composite work of art, a sort of symbolic display of lives that straddle effortlessly between the rich African continent, Europe and North America. From a table of mouth-watering aphrodisiacs which spoke silently of things to come- to titillating Cameroonian dishes-Ndole, “poulet-DG”, Cider-Plancks Baked Salmon, chicken and beef, coconut rice, puff-puff, to suggestive heart shaped desserts – it was evident that the night was enchanted…

But the EXSSA ladies left nothing to chance. Glowing in their red-sizzling evening dresses and looks to die for, they criss-crossed the hall attending to the needs of their guests. If Saker Baptist College is an example to go by, then the theory put forward by some educationists that girls who go to single sex schools assume more leadership roles may not sound controversial at all, because even though the President of the chapter, Ms. Dolly Lyonga Lambe, could be seen taking care of business, so too was the rest of the crew with the likes of   of   Kidi Makia, Roselyn Ngaaje, Maureen Ngamalue, Marilyn Simo, Miranda Kwame, Regina Jing Nana, Martha Akwa Teke and Kah Kajih. For an organization with the motto “love unity and sisterhood”, it was not surprising to see everyone working together as if they entered Saker Baptist College the same year!

 Mr. Molua Lambe and spouse, Dolly.

Then came the climax of the evening- the unraveling of valentines and the guests were awe struck and mesmerized as the Cameroonian men present showed that it takes a real man to tell the world he is in love. The couples were many and the modes of expression different. Mr. Molua Lambe, the EXSSA Dallas first Cat (as husbands to “sakerrats” are fondly called), opened the “amour en extempore!” by giving a single rose to his wife while delivering a heart-felt monologue of what her love means to him. The single rose instantly became a symbol that evening for love that is undivided and unique. For Mr. John Njowo from Houston Texas, it was a verbal poem for his love of 25 years, Marie. As he spoke, the words flooded Mrs Marie Takusi Njowo, and transported her to the serenity of her imagination. The guests were in for more surprises as, Mr. Samuel Ndiba Ekeme, former Cameroon national team soccer player, claimed the floor with a gift and love-soaked rant for his wife, Vivian.  The heat was on and other men followed suit: Dr. Laka, Mr, Richard Nana, Mr. Honore Kwame, Mr. Chis Akwa, Mr Patrick Ngamalue, Mr. Jacob Makia, Mr.Lennox Wonganya etc etc the list was long and so was the night… Indeed the Vice President of EXSSA USA, Ms. Susannah Mondoa who flew in from New York to represent the national executive  could not hold her thoughts , “it was wonderful to see our Cameroonian men comfortable in their skin and able to show their softer, imaginative sides” , She said. The audience could not agree more! When Dr. Austin Ogwu, a steadfast patron of EXSSA, Dallas, popped a huge bottle of Champaign, the toast was unanimous….for a more loving community, so the love could extend beyond each family. To prove this point, guests showed some love by donating generously to one of EXSSA Dallas’ project, the renovation of the sick bay in Saker Baptist College.

.
 
Mr. Ekeme Samuel Ndiba delvering his love-soaked rant...

Love was certainly in the air as bodies gyrated to the rhythm of Makossa, Coupe de Calle, Funk, Reggae, Zouk and even live music from gospel singer Anita Etta and the 13 year old, gifted Yole Makia, who left the guests gasping for more. All was indeed well, and other EXSSA USA members like Patience Fielding, Anike Nokuri and the ladies from EXSSA Houston led by their president, Dr. Rachel Tita had gifts from their Dallas sisters to show for it.  By the wee hours of Sunday morning, the dynamic mc’s of the night, Ms. Gwendolyn Shang and Mr. Molua Lambe were ready to take a well deserved break as news of this enchanted evening started making its way around the USA and beyond. When it got to Rev. Esther Gadpaille, the national President of EXSSA USA, she could only utter one word, “Amen”, for Saker Baptist College was founded on the bountiful love of a living God!

*Dr. Joyce Ashuntantang is an alumnus of Saker Baptist College and a Professor at Hillyer College, University of Hartford.

Comments

[Judith Caspa Foyabo]

Well written once again my dear Dr. J, I love the piece and I am proud to be a 'Sakerrat' and I echo Madam Prez "AMEN"!

[Dolly Lambe]

You could not make us (ExSSA-Dallas and ExSSA-USA as a whole) more proud of your exquisite use of the English language. Your gift, knowledge and abilities to capture a whole evening of love, elegance and unity in a narrative like this with limited words is one to be reckoned with. Our heart felt thanks to you and to all our, Patrons and Sisters in support of us and our Alma Mata, Saker Baptist College. Proud to be a "Sakeratte" and proud to be in a band of Sisterhood like ExSSA-USA.

[Chief Bisong Etahoben]

As a proud senior Cameroonian citizen who loves his wife dearly, I felt slighted by your sweeping generalisation of the attitude of Cameroonian men towards their wives. And this on the basis of a foreign norm - "Valentine's Day" which has no bearing in our traditional Cameroonian (African) society. Granted we were even to measure our love towards our wives through the Valentine's Day prism, not everybody would want to do it from a hilltop. Otherwise, yours was a well written piece.

[Egbe Mbiwan Monjimbo]

A popular hymn exhorts us to "count our blessings, name them one by one". Reading an article like the one above just explains why my fellow Sakerettes and I have never been able to comply with that exhortation! How could we possibly list every missionary, every principal, every staff member, pastor or cook who played a significant role in the "molding process" that has produced the PHENOMENAL WOMEN Sakerettes are? Worse still, where would we find the time it would take to go through a "litany" of ALL our sisters' names from class of 1967 to class of 2010 - and counting, given the fact that EACH ONE of them IS a BLESSING in and of themselves??!! Heard of "Jesus loves me, this I know"? Now that's a hymn that resonates better with Sakerettes - for OBVIOUS reasons!!

[Irmhild Tamen McNnane]

Very beautifully written, Joycie! (Comme toujours!)

[Angel Asobo]

This piece is well written,candid and oh so true of this outstanding sisterhood I am proud to belong to. They are trailblazers. While public display of affection is nothing new to our men, this behavior needs to be sustained in private as well. To that I say every day is valentine's day. Amen? Joyce, I am looking forward to a collaboration between you, Egbe Monjimbo and Patience Fielding for a best seller. The topic, no brainer.....about the chronicles of Exssa-USA.

[Lizzy Bronte]

Excellent write-up sis Joyce.You took me to Dallas and back and i still felt myself wanting to read more even after there was really nothing else to read.
Your use of the language is unbeatable and i am glad i share something in common with you (Saker Baptist College)
Keep writing and feeding our souls,we are truly blessed to have a gifted sister like you.

[Achiri]

Nice article...but I find nothing special about Valentine's day.If one loves one's spouse one should profess their love for them daily and this should go both ways.I find nothing in your article about the women professing their love for their husbands likewise!!

[joyce Ashuntantang]

Thanks. Your comments about Valentine's day are true but you know things are easily said than done. Also, the women did give gifts as well, but we know that because of cultural stereotypes (especially African) it is not considered "manly" for men to show emotion, so it makes news when they do so openly.

[joyce Ashuntantang]

@Judith. Thanks.

[joyce Ashuntantang]

@Dolly, You guys made the content easy. I had fun writing this. Kudos again to you and your crew!

[joyce Ashuntantang]

@Chief Besong Etahoben, Thanks for visiting my site and as always I appreciate your comments. This article only intimated that Men rarely come out to show their emotion, but during this occasion they did...there was no "sweeping generalization" And chief, sometimes women want to hear it from the hilltops...even if it is once in a blue moon...

[joyce Ashuntantang]

@Sis Egbe, now I will never listen to or sing "Jesus loves me" the same again (You know what I mean)...and the blessings, we may spend the rest of our lives counting!

[joyce Ashuntantang]

@Irmhild. Merci ma souer (Comme Toujours!)

[joyce Ashuntantang]

@Sis Angel...I hear you! Our hope is that the public display is a symbol of what is within.....

[joyce Ashuntantang]

@Lizzy- Thanks. I am humbled.

[joyce Ashuntantang]

@ Angel. Thanks. The chronicles will see the light of day, someday soon!

[Coach Outlet]

part with your illusions, When they are gone you may still exist

[Buy Generic Viagra]

Very well said. Valentine's day is being celebrated all over the world and different people have different representation of this occasion. However, I am very excited for the upcoming Valentine.

[generic viagra]

Valentine is fast approaching and I am so excited with my date. Who is he gonna be?