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  • English 110 Draft:  A Story about a Humanitarian Gone too Soon!

    English 110 Draft:  A Story about a Humanitarian Gone too Soon!

    For Victor Pungong, April 11th 1967- May 9th 2007

    By Joyce Ashuntantang

    What you have heard is true. She stepped into my office cradling her folder in her bosom. Her pink boots oppressed the blue carpet on my office floor. My gaze caught her eyes off guard. “Yes Miss Sanchez, what can I do for you?”  “Professor, this paper is difficult for me. You know I struggle with English. I speak Spanish.” “Who are you writing on?” I ask  “That’s my problem. Don’t know who to choose. I look at the topic “The individual in history: Actions and legacies”. Then I get confuse. I want to write on Bill Clinton but it is too common. I try Mandela, but my friend say she is doing Mandela. I don’t want to do the same with her.  I want to do the other one you give but I don’t know him.”  “Which other one?” I ask  She hesitates, and uses her right foot to draw a pattern on the floor.  “The last one in the list, Victor Pugog.”  Oh. Ok, but let us start with the pronunciation of the name. The name is Victor P-U-NG-O-NG. The letters dropped one after the other into the space between us. The “ng”  clusters  made a somersault trapping her doubts before landing on her pink boots.

    “I don’t know him Professor”

    “Would you like to find out about him?”

    “Is he on the internet?”

    “I don’t know.”  “Why don’t you go and find out.”

    “Professor I not lazy. I try but English too difficult for me. I like to read novels but composition too difficult. I try my best, professor.”

    Miss Sanchez, that’s all you need to do. Every successful person started out by “trying”.

    “Ok professor, I go to the library for two hours and I come back.”

    “Ok Miss Sanchez.”

    I watched as the door closed on the tiger etched on her jacket. I turned swiftly to the stack of papers on my desk.  Like little tigers, they eat the time away, chewing all the minutes and seconds. Miss Sanchez did not return.

    My feet found their way to the car. The engine screamed in rhythm with the noise in my head. I put it off. The hard steering stubbornly received my forehead. Then, sudden and rapid taps on my car window joined the discordant symphony in my brain. I took up my heavy head slowly to look. It was Miss Sanchez. I rolled the window down.

    “Sorry professor but I find something, then I read and read. But I get problem with the thesis statement. Sorry I know you want to go home”.

    It’s Ok, I am ready to listen. The noise in my head went out for a walk or so. I couldn’t tell where it suddenly disappeared to.

    “Ms. Sanchez, you can’t write a thesis without information. What did you find out? “

    “Oh professor he do a lot. Very big diplomat, He loves democracy. He work for Commonwealth. Professor Commonwealth is like United nations?” Not waiting for my response she continued with her report. “he has a book. He wrote the book with another man. I have the title here The united states and decolonization: Power and Freedom with David Ryan. The library tell me I can get it by inter-library loan. I order it. He write many articles. The library give me this one Theoretical bases and political feasibility of the trusteeship-peacekeeping connection.

    Triumph makes a little dance in front of me but I push it behind me. “What else did you find?”

    “He teach in a university in England. And he go to countries to supervise election so they don’t cheat. He got new job with the United Nations. Oh professor he even write and act in a film about corruption. The title is Trials of Passion

    A smile circles her face like a moth around a bulb.

    “What is it Ms. Sanchez?”

    “He is Head of good offices section in Commonwealth. That make me laugh. I never hear about that kind of office. Maybe he work there because he too good. He should have come to El Savador. We have civil war for 12 years. No good people to stop government. Even America help the government. The colonel said my father was rebel and they cut his ears- he bleeds too much and die.”

    Sadness envelopes her for a minute then evaporates in the evening breeze.

    “I am sorry to hear that Ms. Sanchez.” She pushes my voice to El-Salvador and continues.

    “Professor I have a question? Victor pun-gon-g, he is dead?”

    “Why do you ask?”

    “I saw people write a lot. Many people know him and say good things. They use many words: kind, brilliant, scholar gentleman, born diplomat. A man, looks like his boss, say he dress well every time in suits and said “Victor was thought – and thoughtfulness – personified.
    His truly was a heart of gold – and for that we give thanks.” I hope this is good quote for the paper.”

    “You know him professor?

    “Yes”.

    “Because I see what you write and he is from Cameroon like you.  I cry when I read all the things about Mr. Pun-gon-g. I cry for his wife and children. Professor you still have the film he send you?”

    Making sure her tears do not find mine, I change the subject.

    “If you want to use a title for him, you can use “Dr.”

    “Ah I forget. I read he graduate in Cambridge. Very good university. Professor I not use no title for him. He is big like Bill Clinton or Nelson Mandela. They not use any title. I feel bad Professor. Bill Clinton- alive. Mandela- alive. But professor Victor Pun-gon g is youngest.”

    “I know” I choke the tears with a cough and swallow my pain with  phlegm.

    “But he do so much for his age.”

    “You are quite right and I think you are getting close to your thesis.”

    Like a moth returns to a light bulb, so the smile returns, circling around her lips and eyes.

    “Professor”, she says eureka-like: I write something down and show you.”

    Many people think that to make history you must be old, but Victor Pungong do many important things before he die at a young age. He is a hero that makes his people proud and all people in the world should know him.

    “I think you have a good thesis draft here Ms. Sanchez, but you have to learn to be specific. For example, what do you mean by “many important things” in the first sentence or “his people” in the second sentence?”

    “I see professor”. I work on it and bring it tomorrow, but professor why do people who want to help the world die too quick?”

    “Miss Sanchez, I can’t possibly answer that. It is beyond the scope of English 110.”

    “But Professor, People need to know people like Victor Pungong, even students so they try to be like him and help the world. Too many wars”.

    “Well, now you know him.”

    “But I only know him to write English paper- then I give you- you put the grade and I keep it in my drawer.”

    I look furtively around as eureka twitches my eyelids. I respond:

    “Interesting. I never thought of it that way.”  I wondered who else needed to hear this.

  • Dr. Joyce Ashuntantang’s Birthday Celebration Part 2

    Dr. Joyce Ashuntantang’s Birthday Celebration Part 2

    “Highlights of Part2 of Dr Joyce Ashuntantang’s Golden Birthday Celebration in New-York City. The First Part of the celebration was a sightseeing lunch cruise on the Bateaux, New York.”

  • A Journey into Statelessness?

    A Journey into Statelessness?

    Joyce Ashuntantang, Ph.D.

    I grew up speaking English in Cameroon. In fact, I was born into English and never considered it a foreign language. I was also born into Kenyang, the language of the Bayangs in Cameroon, and Pidgin English. I learnt all three languages at the same time and in the same house.  However, English was the language of instruction in school and the language of the literary texts which included works by British and African writers. My fun books in English included Lamb’s Tales from Shakespeare, Jane Eyre, Eze goes to School, The Drummer Boy and Things Fall Apart. In addition, my parents studied in England in the 1960’s and as I grew up, I visited England through their stories, pictures, music, my mother’s kitchen utensils and my father’s bookshelf.
    Indeed my childhood was immersed in English. Buea, where I grew up, is situated at the foot of Mount Cameroon. It is a town built by Germans in the 19th century. During my childhood, Buea was remarkable for its cold weather, the German architectural relics and the English Language, a British legacy. Inhabitants of Buea were known in Cameroon as “I was” because they preferred speaking English amongst themselves instead of the more popular Pidgin English. I did not realize that English was the language of the minority in Cameroon and as such carried with it a stigma apparent in another section of Cameroon.
    First, a Proud Cameroonian…
    In my history books I learnt that the Portuguese discovered Cameroon and named it after a river, “Rios dos Cameroes” meaning “river of prawns”. My history books also taught me about the Berlin Conference, German occupation, and the British/French rule in Cameroon. I learnt all these facts absentmindedly and regurgitated them perfectly during exams. However, I was a child born at the height of African nationalistic fervor and so my primary school history lessons included local history. For example we learned that the founder of Buea was a hunter named Njie Tama Lifanje. This local history captivated me; it just seemed easier to understand.

    I was a talkative, vibrant and energetic girl in primary and secondary school.  I participated fully in the cultural festivities marking our two national holidays, 11th February and 20th May.  On these national holidays we had a marching parade.  I participated fully in these parades and in my senior years in primary school, I held the Cameroon flag or school signboard and marched ahead of my entire school. I usually felt a great sense of pride as we marched and sometimes sang to a popular tune, “Cameroon, My native land”. During the eve of the national day celebrations, we usually had a choral competition. I was our “choir conductor” in primary school. I still remember one of our competition songs vividly:
    Our countrymen and women listen to these words
    Listen now, oh listen now.
    We sing to him our comrade praising but his name!
    We do this with joyful hearts.
    Ahidjo our comrade has worked for us.
    We must follow and serve our nation.
    I bathed in this kind of national rhetoric daily. I believed in Cameroon and in my president at the time, Comrade Amadou Ahidjo. I had to work for my nation. I felt safe and proud belonging to Cameroon.
    An Invisible Anglophone Cameroonian…
    Then, I passed my GCE “A” Levels and went to Yaoundé to attend the only University in the Country at the time. Once I got to Yaoundé, my voice was under attack and my sense of Cameroon too. All around me French prevailed. After a few years of French in primary and secondary school, I could understand it a bit, but I could barely speak. With a less than perfect knowledge of French came a less than perfect sense of self. My confidence began to suffer. I would enter a taxi and barely say my destination. I could not talk aloud for fear of ridicule that easily came from Francophones who regarded Anglophones as inferior. Sometimes I would sit in a taxi with other people and there would be an interesting conversation going on in French and I would remain quiet even though I would have loved to join the conversation.  In the market the same thing happened. Like in other African countries, the market in Cameroon is a place to buy and unwind, but in Yaoundé it had become a linguistic duel. I would go to the market, barely point to what I want, ask “Combien?” (How much?), pay and take off. I could not bargain which is the highlight of the African market place. I had lost my speech in Yaoundé.
    On the university campus, we could not speak English freely. Each time Francophone students heard us talking in English, they would poke fun at us and call us “Biafrans” from Nigeria, a reference to the fact that Anglophone Cameroon was governed by the British as part of Eastern Nigeria. We were thus labeled as foreigners! At the university, Anglophone girls were more under attack than Anglophone boys since we could not physically fight back. When francophone boys saw an Anglophone girl and recognized her as such, they will harass her with slogans and curse words. Sometimes they would scream “Anglo tu m’aime? Oui je m’aime.” (Anglophone, do you love me? Yes, I love me.) This was to poke fun at our inability to communicate in French. Our poor communication in French was used as a reflection of our intelligence. Consequently we were looked upon as “stupid”.
    To compound matters, around the city of Yaoundé, all signs were in French and when they did have English translations, the English version would be in tiny letters under the French version captured in bold letters. The subtle message was that English was the lesser language, and English Cameroonians were second-class citizens.  I began to feel like I had no country. My sense of nation began to suffer.  The Cameroon I had built in my mind started crumbling. Then, I read Benedict Anderson’s assertion that the nation is “an imaginary construct,” and it made perfect sense. The Cameroon that had been constructed in my mind as a young girl growing in Anglophone Cameroon simply did not exist in reality.
    After graduation, I won a Postgraduate government scholarship to study Library Science at the University of Wales, Aberystwyth. As a government sponsored student, I was a Cameroonian abroad, yet amongst my classmates I had a hard time convincing them that Cameroon was a bilingual Country, with English and French as the official languages. The few who knew Cameroon believed it was a French country, period. In those days I would go to the library and pick up books, bibliographies, magazines, anything on Africa to see how Cameroon was presented, but, to my dismay it was always presented as part of French Africa. English Africa was Nigeria, Kenya, Ghana, Malawi, Zambia etc. Anglophone Cameroon was lost. That is still the case to this day…
    This is an excerpt of a paper originally presented at the Graduate School and University Center, City University of New York (CUNY), USA in 2000.
    Picture: Masquerade by Abidemi Olowinara.

  • Two Poems in Kenyang at Hartford Loves Poetry Event- Connecticut, USA

    Two Poems in Kenyang at Hartford Loves Poetry Event- Connecticut, USA

    ASO (ASHUM): My Ancestral Home

    Aso, my ancestral home in Cameroon

    Aso, at the foot of Apiong[i]

    You are rooted in my heart

    Until the end of time.

    To forget Aso

    Is to forget the man who gave me life;

    It is to forget the blood that runs in my body.

    When I think of Aso

    I think of my Dad

    He who paved the way with love;

    During festive periods like Christmas

    He made the village our destination;

    Placing a bag of rice before us

    He would ask us to measure out rations

    5 cups here and ten cups there

    Other items would follow

    Maggie cubes; Smoked fish

    And we would make parcels

    Distributing here and there

    I have travelled to many different places

    Paris, London, Brussels,

    I have gone around the world making America my stop

    But I continue to carry Aso in my heart

    I have been told Aso is changing

    I have been told problems reign in the family

    I have been told chieftaincy disputes have brought in strife

    But my love of Aso remains firm

    It remains anchored on cherished memories

    “Blood always follows the path inside a vein”

    I am a child of Aso till the end of time.

    Can’t Take It No More:

    (Narrative poem inspired by the three Kenyang folk songs included here.)

    Song: He will marry me; he says he loves me; He will marry me; this gentleman loves me; He will marry me.

    He visited my father many times; his steps found our door steps many times.

    He told me I am the one he loves

    He told me I am the one he would marry

    He said he would challenge the climb up Apiong Hill

    To woo me

    I was enraptured by his love

    I was flattered by his love

    But things quickly changed

    He drank, got drunk, and staggered home

    He drank, got drunk and lost his mind

    My speech cuddled his blood

    My screams fetched his slaps

    My tears provoked his wrath

    I became his punching bag,

    I became dust under his foot

    (song): He beat and trampled me.

    I looked deep within my soul

    I looked far into my future

    Song (My darling whom I married in love; My darling whom I married lovingly now shouts me down “get away”; He now screams at me, “Fous le camps”)

    I asked: What have I become?

    One without a mother?

    One without a father?

    No I have people;

    I found my way out of his life

    I have a life to live.

  • For Junction Here: A Poem in Cameroon Pidgin English

    For Junction Here: A Poem in Cameroon Pidgin English

    By © Joyce Ashuntantang

    Anytime I shidon for this place
    All ting wey I di see na ya face
    Na for dis junction I be used to see
    ya heart; As I be want make we be

    You no be ever gree me I touch
    Ya own tightit be too much
    I go beg; look you with water for my eye
    Tell you say all ting na for try

    But for this junction you no be fit pretend
    Na for this place we be di end
    You take ya own road go; I waka go my own
    Na for this place; this very place

    That time your eye di remain for down
    Ya right hand di play with ya gown
    Ya one foot di dig dust; way for go no dey
    Ya body di weak; ya heart want stay

    Today, Junction off license na ma place
    Every night I di buy one man cold ma heart
    People no know say no bi mimbo I come drink
    Na so-so you di still bring me, for junction here!

  • Forget-Me-Not

    Forget-Me-Not

    When I was a child I measured my steps

    With bright flowers on the narrow

    Shortcuts to school. Two flowers I still remember:

    The sunflower at the start of my journey.

    It’s petals like the sun lit my way

    I touched it not for fear I would delay

    But for every “Forget-me-not”

    I stopped and picked a bunch

    They were near my journey’s end.

    The white, blue and purple

    Always seduced my youthful eyes

    I rubbed them on my sweaty nose

    and brushed them softly against my lips.

    So many years have gone by, but

    there’s something I want you to know:

    Each time you rub your nose against mine

    And part my lips so softly

    My soul whispers tenderly…

    “Forget-me-not”

  • IN HIS SONGS, I FOUND MANY ACES I COULD KEEP!

    IN HIS SONGS, I FOUND MANY ACES I COULD KEEP!


    It will always be easy to remember when Kenny Rogers died. He died at 81 during the nightmarish days of the corona virus and the nightmarish war that continues to desecrate the place I call “home.” In announcing his death his publicist claimed, “His songs have endeared music lovers and touched the lives of millions around the world.” I can testify to that.
    In fact, as I reflect on the death of Kenny Rogers, I am reminded of the magnitude of the devastation in the land of my childhood, ironically the space where I encountered Kenny for the first time. Yes, history has rendered the African a complex being and I have learned to embrace the beauty of that complexity. It is a space where Kenny Rogers had as much impact on my girlhood as the Kenyang folk songs and Makossa I listened to. Kenny Rogers would never know that from the crushing notes of his husky voice, I felt the first pangs of love. Our mothers worried about our young male friends who sheepishly visited us but those boys never had access to us the way the white male country singers like Kenny Rogers did. As a young high school girl I bought every cassette of his. Yes cassette, that was before CDs. My favorite at the time was “Lady.” When he sang “My love, there’s so many ways I want to say I love you;Let me hold you in my arms forever more,”
    parts of my body that I never knew existed came alive and I surrendered to the succulent folds of his voice. I sang along and allowed his voice to touch every pulse of a desire I was barely aware of. On the continent known for the art of storytelling, he easily carried me on the wings of his stories and we flew away to distant lands in the USA where I was unaware that the color of my skin would put us in different camps. Ignorance was bliss. “Lucille” was another favorite. Her words haunt me still,

    “I finally quit livin’ on dreams
    I’m hungry for laughter and here ever after
    I’m after whatever the other life brings”

    But the speaker’s response soaked in integrity left an indelible print on my young impressionable mind:

    “She was a beauty but when she came to me
    She must have thought I’d lost my mind
    I couldn’t hold her ’cause the words that he told her
    Kept coming back time after time
    “You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille
    With four hungry children and a crop in the field
    I’ve had some bad times, lived through some sad times
    But this time your hurting won’t heal”

    As for the story of the “Coward of the County,” it provided an ace I could use many years later. I am raising boys to be men in a country I was not raised in; in a country where the color of their skin always brings the kind of attention that becomes problematic at times. I expect them to be law abiding and never get into trouble, but on the playground I realize it could happen because “Sometimes you gotta fight when you’re a man” or even a boy.

    In 1985 TV was still sporadic in Cameroon, but our house was lucky my older sister brought TV and videos into our lives. This was the year of the memorable USA for Africa, “We are the World” hit. Kenny Rogers had an endearing performance on the video of the song. The video became a staple in our home. My parents died tragically the following year, so thinking of Kenny Rogers today also brings memories especially of my mom with whom we watched that particular video multiple times. Then I grew up and found love my way, but Kenny Rogers and his songs stayed with me.
    Later, I traveled out of Cameroon and I had my fill with videos of him singing and I loaded up on his CDs. From the Uk, I moved to New York City in the 1990’s when there were still huge music stores and I usually got lost in the country music section trying to reclaim my childhood quite removed from the racist stories of the South. The duets with Dolly Parton were always a treat.
    So much to say; so much to remember over the years. In 2015 our politics clashed but he was quite gentleman about it and that showed me he was just another human being with his own choices to make. My only regret, I got to watch Don Williams live but not Kenny Rogers. I missed a couple of opportunities.

    Well, here’s to Kenny Rogers and to the land I call, “home.” In my world, this two go together. Good night Kenny Rogers. In your songs I found many aces to keep!

  • Book Review: My Journey by Teih Belinda Nungse

    Book Review: My Journey by Teih Belinda Nungse

    Book Title: My Journey
    Category: Non-Fiction (autobiography)
    Author:  Teih Belinda Nungse
    Publisher: Page Publishing Inc.
    Publishing Date: 2019

    My Journey by Teih Belinda Nungse is a detailed “no holds barred” memoir of the author’s life from the age of four to the present. The motivation for this memoir is clearly expressed in the introduction, “The need to encourage and motivate the younger generation of women who give up trying when they face a storm; a teaching guide for the younger generation not to fall in some of the pits I fell in due to ignorance.” This motivation ties in with my own belief system that “every problem has a solution in a personal story.”

    Ms. Nungse is not a celebrity in Cameroon, where she was born, or in the USA where she now lives, which makes this memoir so relevant and noteworthy. This is an ordinary person driven by circumstances to tell her story not just to her immediate community but also to the world at large with a fervent belief that it may benefit someone. This is a record of her life as she recalls it with names of people, places and dates. It is a daring act of selflessness and a testament of inner peace that only comes when a human being knows he or she has done his or her best no matter how imperfect.

    Ms. Nungse was born in on April 6 1978 at the Elak health center in Oku, and she presently lives in Portland, Maine, USA.  This candid memoir is written in seven chapters each covering a major part of the author’s life from early childhood to married Life and the battle with miscarriages and Infertility.

    The title of this memoir, “My journey,” is apt because her journey in many ways is still on. This is not one of those “rags to riches” autobiographies that provide the reader with a  final “feel good” experience after reading.  This is the story of a woman who is slowly adjusting to some facts about life. She has come to the realization that despite her intelligence and hardworking nature, she will have to live with the choices she made as a young woman in terms of relationships, and that she may never be able to get her own biological children through no fault of hers. While it may seem from her book that she has reached the end of her journey, that is not a fact. She is alive so her journey in this life is still on and another ending may be in the making.

    From the first chapter focusing on her early years, the forces that will control her life are evident.  Although she was very intelligent and passed her exams brilliantly, she could not attend the secondary school of her choice. As she writes, “My parents made me understand the class difference in society and that I should never compare myself with other children because they (my parents) were struggling financially. I then understood why we worked so hard unlike other children who never went to the farm, got involved in with house chores or went to the forest to fetch wood.”

    Ms. Nungse writes with candor that makes her story so compelling.  She does not call for pity and takes responsibility for her actions where applicable. Her writing is factual and bold. Her words are unchained even as they easily take control of the reader. She owns her story and her voice. Most African women have been silenced by patriarchy, tradition, and Christian religious values. Thus, her ability to speak her story into the written word is commendable. There is that element of a sacrificial lamb here—that person willing to take the bullets as long as one young girl or woman can be liberated after reading.

    Although I was born, raised in Cameroon as the author, and presently live in the USA like the author, I have never met her and do not know her personally even though we recently became friends on Facebook.  Therefore, what kept coming to my mind as I read from chapter to chapter was this sudden awareness of how this story must be familiar to many women in Cameroon and other so-called third world countries.  The double bind of womanhood and poverty is a stranglehold on any intelligent and ambitious girl.  Each chapter in My Journey places the author in crippling poverty making it near impossible for her to accomplish set goals. It is a miracle that she not only earns a Bachelor’s degree but goes on to earn a couple of graduate degrees and rises to the position of Director  in the public service of Cameroon.  Yes, it takes a village to raise a child, but it becomes a nightmare for any child when that proverbial village is dysfunctional.

    While the author’s motivation for writing the book was for younger women to draw lessons from her life, I believe it will also be a revelation for relatives and family friends to reexamine the role they play in the life of a child growing up and the far-reaching consequences of some of their actions. In fact, any girl, boy, woman or man should find this memoir illuminating.  The author shows grit, resourcefulness, tenacity and determination that would inspire anyone.

    The only glitch in this daring memoir is that in the first 63 pages the author renders all monetary transactions in Cameroon in American dollars as if the currency in Cameroon is the dollar.

    This glitch aside, I would not forget this memoir in a long while.  I highly recommend it!

  • The Art of Braining

    The Art of Braining

    By Joyce Ashuntantang

    On this Valentine’s day, I decided to honor some male poets of my youth. These are the boys and young men who composed all those beautiful monologues complete with performance in the name of “braining”.  Braining, the way it is done in Cameroon can be rightly considered an art form. The English call it “to woo” which means to seek the affection of someone with intent to romance or to court a woman. In English Speaking Cameroon this phenomenon is known variously as “to brain”, “lay case”  “nak kwadi,” and “nak parole” (or nak pa). These phrases combined together suggest that what is going on here is a decidedly creative and intellectual process.  The word “braining” suggests that the person braining who is usually a male is trying to manipulate the brain of the hearer usually female. In fact, this is captured even more clearly when we refer to it as “laying case.”  Here, the court room is invoked and the metaphor of a lawyer laying forth his arguments shows that it is a careful process where the boy chooses his words carefully and even the order in which he will bring them out to get a particular effect.  The creative aspect comes in when we look at another synonym to this phenomenon- “nak kwadi.” This phrase means to tell a story in the Duala language. Thus, there is a story element to braining. This story element brings in “fantasy” as well as other creative elements to “braining”.  Indeed, the speaker must embellish his verbal presentation with figures of speech to make it exciting. He must be able to ignite the imagination of the girl, so she could dream along with him about a blissful future with him by her side.   Then, there’s the element of delivery. If it is intellectually savvy with all the juices of imagination, but it cannot be delivered, it falls flat on its face. That is why some boys had to ask their friends to deliver for them because they lacked the gift of oratory. It is this oratorical aspect which is captured in another  “braining”  synonym, “parole”.  This  French word “parole” refers to each utterance as a speech act with the concept of performance tied to it. To “nak parole” is to have  the gift of  oral delivery with all the attending nuances. Therefore, I am not thinking of some dull statements that some boys came up with like your “catarrh is my butter’ that is just gross and cannot be elevated to poetry. Even the bland promise, “I am going to marry you” does not rise to poetry. Ironically, it still got some girls to be hooked right away. I am talking here of a  smooth flow when guys took the time to build intricate patterns of words, and then presented  memorable performances complete with deliberate hand gestures, facial expressions and even choreographed movements. Some of these guys enjoyed doing this so much that they were serial Brainers.  They“brained” as many girls as they could, and it seemed as if they did not really care the outcome. Some could just “brain” the same girl over and over, and each time they tried to outdo themselves by coming up with something more creative. I smile as some names and faces come to mind. Well, as I look back on all the braining, laying case, parole and kwadi I have endured in my life time…I give my all time award to one that stood out not only because of its originality, but because of the finesse of delivery.  The guy was as sleek as they come, but he knew that my brain needed quite a bit to cajole it to even listen to the end. Here is what he said and not strange enough, I remember it verbatim:

     

    …after some opening remarks, he paused for what seemed like his planned opening)I know right now you want me to leave you alone. Yes my feet want to obey you but my heart pleads guilty. I listen to my heart, so bear with me. (Hands folded on the chest, his back to the wall and right leg folded back touching the wall. Obviously feeling handsome and confident, he continues) I can’t pretend I have not known other women. I have known a few and pretty ones too. (I am jostled by the revelation and I guess the effect was intended) But I can tell you this much, with all these women I FELL in love. (He knew that will sound confusing to me and it did as I pursed my lips indicating that I am anxious to hear where he is going with this one).  But with you, I am experiencing something absolutely different. (My head drops in a moment of shyness and also to hide my reaction. He pauses, asks me to lift my head and face him, then he continues as if he is about to make a pronouncement of truth from the Pope. Slowly turns around in playful hesitation, displaying his physique in a crisp linen top and  mohair pants, then continues) You see in your case it is just a new feeling because you are different. I am not going to tell you how because you know it. You are very smart. (He is using “suspense” as a device, and I am now all ears). In your case I have CLIMBED on love and I am not going to stop till I get to the top (Of course I could not help but smile. This was ingenuous, but he was not done).  I know our wings will not fly all winds but you and I together will form a formidable pair.”

    Truth be told, I knew this was all “Pa” (short form of parole), but I could not help noticing the beauty of the words and the embedded poetry; the play on the phrase “to fall” in love and “to climb on love,” the metaphor of flight and the rhythmic music  produced by the “s” sound in the phrase “our wings cannot fly all winds.” Etc. I was impressed with his poetic performance then, and after more than three decades, I still think it was a great performance. So, today I give it up to the young men who made “braining” an art form and took their time to compose memorable lines and delivered them with flourish.  I used to find them sometimes annoying because I could not stand anyone trying to mess with my brain. However, looking back, I can at least concede this: “Braining” the way it was done by some boys and young men in Cameroon is a completely engaging art form”. I wonder what young guys do these days…

    p/s I do not own the rights to the picture above!

    (Originally  written on Valentine’s Day 2011)